Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize