I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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