Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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