wrigley field is MILF paradise
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
