My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
