please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
