I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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