I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
you guys were way drunker than both of me
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
