and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
