Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
