There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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