idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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