I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
