it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
