Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
