I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
