Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
There's even glitter on my cock...
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