Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
