First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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