I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
The Olympian is in my bed
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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