I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
