O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
My vagina is officially offended.
Dick very happy bro
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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