I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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