how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I want to fling myself into the sun
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
