During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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