all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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