I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
