my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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