Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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