party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
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I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
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History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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