I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
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Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?