i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
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I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
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It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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