his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?