Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
