He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Randomize
