Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
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