Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
