I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
