4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
