This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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