took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
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Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
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He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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