I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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