At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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