Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
