Tell her she can't have a vagina
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
