whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize