PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
It's like God shit irony all over that family
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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