I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I'm always down for nudity.
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