Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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