I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
