between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
