Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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