What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Porn is love you can see.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
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should my penis look like a turkey
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize