You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
