I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
even my farts smell like vagina
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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