butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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