I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
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Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize