i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize