How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
