I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize