Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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