have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
