yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
