So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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