Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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