I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
