I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
